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Many of you have noted, with alarm, the dreadful evil concealing itself as a Jolly Rancher. For the few of you who may be unaware of this notorious substance, it consists of tiny hard candies wrapped in plastic wraps put into yet another plastic bag. Quite apart from the resulting environmental nightmare, the worst part is that since they are small, you can easily think, "Oh, this is nothing," and suck on one, and then suck on another one, and before you know it, you are DOOMED. DOOMED, I say.

Fortunately, the great state of Texas is here to defend us all against the encroachment of Jolly Ranchers, by putting a third grader in detention for a week for possessing one. I applaud.

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Mari Ness

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