Friends

Swine flu vaccine dangers: http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2009/07/16/Major-Expose-on-Swine-Flu-by-60-Minutes.aspx

According to last night's BBC news, a total of 29 people in the UK have died from swine flu.

However, according to http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/4459140.stm: "Flu kills about 12,000 people (in the UK) a year, although twice in the last 15 years the death toll has reached nearly double that."

This comparison of figures does rather put the current media panic about swine flu into perspective.

As some of you may know, I've a liking for Dr Mercola's no-nonsence wholistic health advice. In the article (link above) he offers free, useful and rational information about the level of threat from swine flu and what you can do about it.

Remember that the makers of pills and vaccines have a vested interest in their products selling well. Panic in the populace puts massive money in their nasty little pocketses.

On my first trip to China in 2007, I met a girl named Bai Lan here in Beijing and she took me to the Great Wall. The following day, I got a call from her sister telling me that Lan was in the hospital and I thought, "Dear god, I've killed her somehow!"

Because if you live somewhere that's not China, the connotation for the word hospital is pretty severe. We don't go to the hospital where I come from. We wake up in hospitals. You're in a hospital because, let's face it, you couldn't stop them from bringing you there. It's a place of $50 aspirins. People literally go bankrupt going to the hospital in America. They lose their homes. Nobody goes to the hospital over a case of the sniffles.

In fact, you go to the hospital only if one or more of the following conditions are met:

• You are dying


• You have recently been dead and are feeling somewhat better


• You are the drummer for a popular 80's rock band and you've lost an arm in a car accident


• You have been struck by lightning and have waited the requisite three days to make sure you still feel really bad

Beyond that, we just don't do it. But the word hospital in China just means "the place to go when you feel bad." Or even "...you think you might feel bad." And sometimes "...when you're pretty sure that you'll feel bad in a few days and you want to make sure that doesn't happen."

I've been sick for six days now and everyone I talk to says, "Have you gone to the hospital yet?" They've even offered to take me. Random strangers have offered to come to my place and act as a translator. I'm not kidding. And I keep telling them the same thing, "I'm not dying."

But it's different here. It just is. In America you can go into a 7-11 and buy a bottle of Nyquil or ibuprofen and self-medicate. Not here. There are pharmacies and there are hospitals. Nothing in between. If your Chinese is strong enough, you can go into a pharmacy and they can give you something. It helps if you have the name of the medicine you want. But be warned that the dosage is usually about half of its American counterpart. I've routinely taken two or three times their "recommended dosage" just because what they "recommended" is about as strong as cherry-flavored Pez. And it's still not helping.

I'm still waiting for Dr. McCoy to show up and wave that car cigarette lighter in front of me, jab me in the arm with hypospray and tell me to quit whining and get back to work. Where's Bones when you need him?

But it's been six days now and I can't hear anything past the congestion in my head, and my cough has started to bring up pieces of lung. And so tomorrow I may bite the bullet and let a friend take me to the... ugh... hospital.

But I'm not dying. I swear.

Ugh.

Originally published at Madman's Mutterings.

Last night I went to yoga and threw everything I had at the mat. It was probably the best place to take out my aggression and frustration, especially since I have a really awesome instructor who keeps an eye on (especially) me to make sure I don't hurt myself. It meant I could go a bit crazy but still had safety locks on. Also meant I pushed out beyond fear and did - a backbend (though I did that the week before), made a start on my journey towards the lotus position, gave the fish a go, did some serious shoulder stand stuff, balanced on one leg like it was the last thing I was ever gonna do and even attempted the headstand. It was a funny class - full of men this week. Had a different (slightly competitive) edge to it.

Afterwards, I got a full body massage. My instructor had been trying to talk me into doing it this way, after yoga, and I ended up taking her up on it cause yesterday I figured maybe having my chakras realigned might help. And yeah, I can see what she meant - her energy was up and my body was warm and stretchy from an hour and a half of yoga and it meant she could really work out more of my tension. I slept really well but today I feel like I'm moving through treacle - mentally and physically.

I watched another ep of Star Trek - catsparx I see the green, almost-turtleneck cardy with the gold stripes on the sleeves of Kirk's but that's not the kimono number - there's also some kind of wrap around top!

This week has been an absolute, epic struggle. I got home last night to find my house trashed. Bored puppy inside the house all day does not make for a happy. I had to do a search pattern to locate just what had been destroyed to leave stuffing remains throughout the entire house. I was terrified it was the couch that's not mine. The utter craziness of the spare room, the floor literally an inch deep in shredded stuffing held the answer - the large bolster cushion used in the New Ceres Nights launch costume suffered a horrible, painful death. Also a box and some paper bags got shredded in what looked like some kind of white fluffy dog shredding frenzy.

I just left the mess and went to yoga.

I've been wrestling with just what has left me feeling so emotionally out of sorts this week. There's no doubt I have a lot going on - job hunt, the health thing, book about to go to print, general and constant tiredness. Maybe all these things have left me feeling super sensitive and fragile. Maybe that's why the Hottest 100 thing knocked me around and affected me so much in such a surprising way. I know I have had difficult interfacing with the world and interacting with people. To the point where I need to just take a step back this weekend, cancel a bunch of things and just take some time out.

It's been a tough week that in some ways I have felt utterly excluded and sidelined, and in some cases condescended to. On the other hand, it's also been an awesome week of unity, celebration and support. It's reminded me why I hang out with the people I do, why I read all of you on my flists, of the things I love and why I love them. Of my passion and direction and drive. And of my own ability to *do stuff*.

Everyone around me - online and in flesh - has heard how I feel about this whole thing. We had an awesome discussion at lunch today about Triple J - most of my work friends have long walked away from the station and they talked about why, and about the changes that the station had gone through. One friend wondered at my feeling of loyalty, and sense of identity, towards one outlet of the media. And another asked me why I was still listening to the radio at all. And really, that's just it. I'm not that much of an early adopter really. And there are lots of things in life where I am the last one to get on the train. Or off, perhaps, in this case. And the truth is, I think a lot of my angst this week is about the fact that I have to walk away from Triple J. Part of my personality is a dog-eared stubborn-til-the-end sense of loyalty. It's a very deep and true part of who I am. And I have listened to Triple J for I dunno 15 years in a dedicated way. That, and I hate change :) So I think in part this has been a week of me coming to terms with this. Funny and weird and ultimately inconsequential in the scheme of things.

You know, that and the fact that I already walked away - haven't listened to it since the beginning of the week.

So with all of the angst and struggle this week, I also was overwhelmed by a sense of support and understanding by the people around me. My struggle was only internal. And I feel so utterly honoured to have the peers that I do - that these awesome people (you included) inform and inspire and encourage and bounce off with me.

I have come out richer this week than I entered it.

I have also in some ways freed myself of some of the aspects of feminism that I was feeling were burdensome. In some ways this week has been a week of rescoping out my dreams and goals and aspirations. I realised that I really really want to spend a serious amount of time in Italy. I'm not sure I knew that as much as I do now. I feel like I need to somehow put this on the near future plans. So too, I have realised that I spend more time and energy than I would like in the "explaining and justifying" role of being a feminist. I think I am going to walk away from that too - just like I don't argue with an anti-semite. And this makes me think about what I could be doing if I allocated that time into more of the *doing* role of being a feminist. Stay tuned for that, I think.

These two articles reveal where a lot of money is coming from, and where it's going:

Foreclosures at Record High in First Half 2009 Despite Aid
Lynn Adler, Reuters: "U.S. home foreclosure activity galloped to a record in the first half of the year, overwhelming broad efforts to remedy failing loans while job losses escalated."

Robert Scheer | "Government Sachs" Strikes Gold ... Again
Robert Scheer, Truthdig: "Connect the dots: Goldman Sachs made $3.44 billion in profit this past quarter, while the U.S deficit topped $1 trillion for the first time in the nation's history and appeared to be headed toward doubling that figure before the budget year is out. Since most of the increase in the federal deficit is due to bailing out the banks and salvaging the greater economy they helped destroy, why is the top investment bank doing so well?"

Much of the economy is designed, like a feudal system, to funnel money from the poor and middle-class to the wealthy. The problem with this is that, when the wealthy leech too much money from the lower classes and/or when the lower classes lose their jobs and have no more money for the leeches, the whole system breaks down. We need to find better ways of running the economy.

Craig has to pay the devil his due in the new Made of Fail. http://tinyurl.com/kmq2xo

Watch this frakkin' movie!  Dude!  Seriously!

Bad parts of the movie:  The name.  "Push?"  I must have missed it at the theatres cause it sounded too much like Jumper.  Or a certain ZZ Top song.

Other than that, See this movie!  Make them make a bizillion sequels!  tHIS STufF rawks!

It's like a mix between The Replacement Killers, Rob Zombie's song "More Human Than Human" and The Professional.  And like X-Men, if X-Men had a decent script. (ouch).

Well, I have been chasing the gyn oncologist all week for the test results. I got a note in the mail to say that the papsmear results were normal and have been waiting to hear about the biopsy. I rang on Tuesday and the receptionist said that the doctor wanted to call me himself but that she thought she looked at the results and they were clear. Which is why I haven't really been all that worried or anxious.

Couple of rounds of phonetag and she just went and grabbed my file since she hasn't yet typed up the letter he wrote to me. The verdict is an inflamed cervical polyp which he removed (oh yes, yes he did). And she thinks the letter she is typing up will just ask me to come back in 6 months for another look.

So ... I think for now the best thing is to assume I've been given the all clear.

I'm delighted by this video of a boat designed to clean up water pollution. It scoops water through filters to remove contaminants such as solid particles or oil slicks. This would be a good way to start getting nurdles out of the oceans.

Get some female appreciation fixes here:

angriest - Romana from Doctor Who
babalon_93 appreciates the Baby Animals in her Day 2 post
mynxii in true mynxii style throws a ton of awesomeness in one breath here

I was quite pleased by this proposal from a Republican, and disgusted that the Democrats didn't support it:

A Prescription for the Goose…
Senator Tom Coburn is a physician who until recently still went home to Oklahoma to deliver babies. He believes Congress should weigh the dangers of a nationalized health system much more seriously than it has. In the tradition of someone using a 2x4 to win the attention of a mule, yesterday he successfully pressed the Senate Health Committee to approve his idea of requiring Members of Congress themselves to enroll in whatever "public plan" is passed to compete with private insurance companies.

I have long thought that if politicians had to face the same terrible insurance challenges as ordinary people, we might have a working health care system by now. I'm sure they'll kill this provision, but while it lasts, maybe it will get them thinking in a positive direction.

( We had a dumpster delivered to the house this morning. )

They're going to empty it and return it tomorrow morning. We've rented it for a week, and I think we'll probably have about three loads total. Tomorrow we clean out under the deck and out by the barns. It's fun, really.

I really screwed up my hand when I fell the other day. I couldn't use it at all for about 24 hours, but constant ice packs, pain meds and steroids did the trick. It's pretty much back to where it was before I did my stupid tractor trick. To be honest, my left hand is pretty much shot anyway. I have very little strength there anymore, and it's painful to open even something like a ziplock bag. It's lupus doing its thing. At least it's not my right hand, I say with thanks.

I think my fix for the mail box is going to pass muster with the local postal inspector. It's not pretty, and it doesn't close 1005 of the way (about 98%), but I'm pretty sure that we'll get the OK for it. I used some steel wool on the rust, a hammer on the tin, and my trusty can of Pam on the rivets. Now if the mail box would only oblige and cough up my freakin' work visa, I'd be ever so grateful.

And I'm having a hot flash. Ack!

Making this for dinner. Smells delicious so far...

Here is the latest verse, continuing the third section of "The Sky-Eyes and the Earth-Hearts." I am really pleased to see ongoing interest in this xeno-entomology poem. The original post is here.

( Ooo! Butterflies!! )

I got a new hair cut, and had my hair professionally dyed for the first time. I love it! It was straightened in this shot... after the cut you can see it in its more natural state -- that is, curlier and super messy. *grin*

( messy hair! )

I made the Korean ribs.  I overcooked them, but they were still tasty.  My crock pot cooks hot and when I make something new, the timing is off the first couple of times until I learn how long it needs to cook.  I also used only two jalepenos because I am a wimp.

Next time I'll trim the fat.  I didn't have time to do that this morning.

I would give it a 3.5 on a 5 pt scale, but I will definitely make it again.

Miéville, China. The City & the City. New York: Del Rey-Ballantine Books, 2009.

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I don't have much to say beyond OMG WOW. I found The City & the City both brilliant and readable; other readers, of course, may not find it to be either of those things.