Mari Ness - Ceilings, nuttin but ceilings...

Fixing a ceiling is a more complicated procedure than I thought. It involves:

1. Not fixing the ceiling
2. Stating that you have fixed the ceiling
3. Staring at the unfixed ceiling in surprise and stating that you must have fixed an entirely different ceiling the day before
4. Unexpectedly and coincidentally having a piece of the ceiling fall on you during this conversation, perhaps to exemplify the unfixed nature of the ceiling
5. Fixing the air conditioning unit
6. Not removing the wall unit which incidentally leaks when it rains
7. Announcing that for this, you need help
8. Staring at the ceiling
9. Noting that ceiling is pulling up.
10. Finding someone to help with the ceiling
11. Having the second person stare up hopefully at the ceiling, as if, perhaps, the weight of the stare will cause the ceiling to feel very, very bad about the way it's starting to drip down, down down and fall on people, and perhaps fix itself.
12. Announce that you must find ladders.
13. Vanish, for a time.
14. Bring ladders into the bedroom. Realize that this will only work if you move the bed.
15. Move the bed, to the hellish distress of a small grey cat who LOVED it under the bed, thank you very much, and feels the need to demonstrate this love with a high pitched wail and several well aimed claws (I try not to irritate this cat for this very reason: she may be shy and retiring, but when roused, she will not hesitate to express her extreme displeasure physically)
16. Spend time cleaning up cat injuries.
17. Have apartment dweller attempt to calm down small grey cat.
18. Made of fail.
19. Have apartment dweller pass out cat treats to the two other cats, who are not, as it turns out, upset in the least by this, but do like the cat treats.
20. Nail in wooden boards above the ceiling.
21. Screw ceiling into the wooden boards, incidentally leaving multiple black spots all over the ceiling instead of the nice white popcorn surface previously there.
22. Depart for a couple of hours while everything dries.
23. Return to steam clean the carpet, making everything wet again.
24. Replaster the ceiling.
25. Replace bed.
26. Realize, to your horror, that tgregory's things have been moved all around and you have no idea where they were to begin with. Fail to look forward to the moment when he will return home.
27. Also realize that the ceiling is still Not Done, and needs additional work tomorrow morning.