Mari Ness - Lest you think only one cat is causing difficulties today:

Note to cat:

After due consideration, I have come to the conclusion that the pull cord for the ceiling fan did not just mysteriously break and fall down on its own.

While I am well aware that ceiling fans, like virtually everything, can suffer from entropy, rot, and breakage, in this case, just prior to the sudden fall of the ceiling fan pull cord, I happened to be glancing in the general direction of the living room, and could not help but notice a furry black and white body flying through the air, far too close to the ceiling fan for this to be a genuine coincidence. I also happened to observe what seemed like an extended black and white paw deliberately reaching towards the pull cord. I admit, of course, that appearances can be deceptive. But when combined with my earlier observations of your multiple attempts to play with the pull cord of the ceiling fan, and my knowledge of your inability to resist the temptation of dangling, swinging things, I must tell you that I do not find your puzzled, innocent looks remotely credible. Your request for tuna to help you endure the trauma of this event is therefore denied.